adminDo you sometimes get overwhelmed by anxiety?
Does your mind ever tell you that you’re going to screw up and someone else could do it better?
Anxiety– performance anxiety specifically– will keep you from feeling confident and certain about yourself. Not to mention it just feels awful!
I’ve experienced anxiety throughout my life and a high-sensitivity to moments of pressure. I can easily get overwhelmed by too many decisions, too much attention, too much activity, etc. And, I end up stuck in my head criticizing myself and others, feeling self-conscious and stuck in comparison-itis (it’s a thing) and imposter syndrome.
Please tell me it’s not just me?
I’ve sought out and practiced so many tools to help calm the inner waters so I can think clearly, act decisively and really know what’s true for me.
Sometimes it’s the simplest practices that make the biggest difference. So, I put together 3 simple anxiety tips for you and an easy Anxiety Relief recording. I promise you’ll walk away feeling, “ahhhh….” relieved and rejuvenated.
1. Notice anxiety before it gets to the critical point
Most people don’t notice that they feel anxious or stressed until their body is screaming at them like having a panic attack or something goes wrong externally like you get a really bad performance review or you have blow out fight with your partner. But, the anxiety is building in small increments under the surface much earlier.
We can get better and better at noticing subtle signs earlier and earlier. Those signs might be tight muscles, shallow breathing, gripping in the throat or jaw, blurry eyesight.
The earlier you can catch your tell-tale signs and use your coping skills (see below) the more you’ll be able to avoid the escalation to full anxiety, self-consciousness, overwhelm, etc.
There’s a critical point of no return where the emotions have a life of their own and your body needs to expel them. (Think a crying spell in the bathroom; a bout of rage yelling at your partner; or, a period of complete shut down and going frozen while you recover)
If you can approach yourself compassionately, kindly and proactively before that critical point the whole cycle never happens.
2. Use your coping skills
This is THE key. When you notice those first signs of pressure, anxiety and overwhelm choose a coping skill that will help you re-center, ground and calm down. These will help you remember your value, your power and reconnect you to what’s true (as opposed to the wild story your mind is weaving).
You might know these coping skills that I’m going to share with you… but do you use them at the exact moments that you need them???
That’s the rub. Here’s my top 3 favorite…
Breathe!
The first thing to shut down when we go up into our heads and flooded with anxiety is our breathing. So, step numero uno… take a deep breath.
It’s not rocket science but it is very, very important to do at the precise moment you need it. Taking a deep breath when you notice symptoms will initiate an internal shift and that’s all you need. Once that shift has started, it will usually carry you to a new state all on its own.
But, here’s the thing. You have to stop– stop moving, stop doing, stop thinking– and breathe deeply. Focus all your attention on your breathing. Notice all the sensations associated with it and take at least 3 deep, full, long breaths.
Better yet, take 3 counted breaths. Breathe in through both nostrils to the count of 6. Hold for 2. Then exhale through the mouth to the count of 4.
So simple. Such a game changer. Apply this breathing as many times as you need it.
Body Scan
Once you’ve done some breathing, if you have some more time give a mental scan of your physical body. The experience of anxiety and overwhelm is an up and out experience energetically. This means that your energy is drawn up towards your head and out of your physical body into spinning thoughts. You can counter act this tendency by purposefully paying attention to your physical sensations. This is very grounding, nourishing and relaxing.
There are many ways to do body scans for different purposes. A basic one is to start at the top of your head and scan through your body all the way to your toes.
Go slowly and notice each little part– what’s the difference in sensation between your right eyebrow and your left eyebrow? I like to scan down the front of my torso and arms then down the back of my torso before finally scanning through my legs and feet.
This can be a really short experience and general in your awareness, or very slow and deep taking several breaths with each body part. Up to you. You’ll feel an overall sense of relaxation come over your whole body.
Talk To Yourself
Now that you’ve slowed down your breathing and brought yourself back into your body, let’s support your mind to build confidence.
There are a lot of practices for affirmations or mantras. I find that a lot of them can go in one ear and out the other. Here’s a simple practice I learned from a famous Buddhist monk that has really helped to calm my mind and train my thoughts to be on my side.
As you breath in say to yourself, “Breathing in”. As you breathe out say to yourself, “Breathing out”. This is the basic but you can add on to suit the moment.
For example: “Breathing in, I notice anxiety in my chest. Breathing out, I release this anxiety. Breathing in, it feels good to breathe in. Breathing out, everything is ok in this moment.”
Be creative and talk to yourself the way you wish a coach or soothing parent would talk to you. Your mind will unravel and the stories will fall away. You’ll be able to think clearly and know what the next perfect action is.
3. Repeat! Allow Things To Change
Now that’ve gained a lot of new awareness and shifted your physiology to a more calm and centered state, allow things to change. Allow your relationships to change. Allow your circumstances to change. Allow yourself to feel better!
It’s easy to get used to feeling always not good enough, or always anxious. You probably have told yourself and others many times that you want to feel differently but when it comes down to it we all keep replaying the same patterns.
Allow yourself to change and do something differently now. Keep repeating these steps over and over.
I hope these 3 steps have helped you understand your anxiety and self-consciousness better. The more you can connect with your body and direct your thoughts purposefully the more likely you’ll be to feel confident, centered and powerful.
Here’s a 7 minute recording you can listen to when performance anxiety starts to rise in you. Enjoy!
